Why do i keep letting my family down.?

you don't have to please anybody but yourself. when you do that others will begin to respect you. learn to love yourself first. the way to do it is to become aware of your self. become aware of your mind. your thoughts, emotions, feelings, imagination and all what's going on in your mind is what you need to control. everything begins with your feelings. learn to be aware of them, accept them, love them. they are neither good nor bad. when you begin to love every feeling in yourself, even in times of depression then those feelings evaporate and makes you feel good. Read the book 'How to love every minute of your life' which change my entire outlook of life. I was once like you trying to please everyone and got nowhere. Once you learn to love yourself then others will respect you and in turn it will be easy for you love them too.